DoOver
by Meowiegirl
Summary: A parody of Kelly making a wish to the Kirin. It's more based on the anime, but it can be for either. Rated for language. Pairings: Mentioned Leon x D and Kelly x Roger shounen-ai (sort of).


* * *

Do-Over 

A/N: I came up with this while watching PSoH for like the third time. (I've already read most of the mangas twice. Yay for well-drawn shounen-ai goodness!) Um, yeah... It's meant to be short.

I don't own PSoH (sadly). Pairings for this story are as follows: Kelly x Roger shounen-ai (in a way, I guess), and Roger x Nancy.

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The Kirin descended, in a blaze of majesty, on a bloodied and almost-dead man who looked like he could definitely be having a better day. 

"Kelly," she boomed. "Kelly, you are the chosen one! What is your wish?"

Kelly, whose mind was rather addled with pain and blood loss, whimpered something.

"Pardon?," asked the Kirin. It really didn't have the time or patience for this sort of thing. Honestly, it was an omniscient creature, and right now the next ruler of some country could be leaving the pet shop empty-handed, just because this mere mortal-

"I said, don't...eat me...," repeated Kelly.

The Kirin raised one of its impressive and all-powerful eyebrows. Count D sold her to a man who was supposed to be the next President of the United States...for this? A plea not to be eaten?

"I've got a wife and-," here Kelly paused to cough up some blood, for dramatic effect, "two kids...back at home. Tell...Janie I love her..."

"Listen," said the Kirin in a highly annoyed tone. "Listen, man, I'm not going to eat you. And we both know you don't have a wife or kids. Come on, I could tell the minute I laid eyes on you that you hadn't had a date in years. No offense." She really was having quite a bad day. She even considered raiding the Count's incense cabinet to see if she could find any Advil, when she returned to the pet shop.

"Oh," Kelly murmured. "Oh, alright then."

"Well?!," the Kirin asked. "Your wish. Make your wish!" She wished she could massage her temples, but her true form just wouldn't let her.

"My wish...is for Roger. I want him to be President."

"Are you sure?" The Kirin wanted to go, and quick. She knew mortals, there would be ambulances and reporters there soon if she didn't, as the Count's strange boyfriend sometimes said, 'haul ass'.

"Yes, I'm sure," Kelly smiled. "I...I want Roger to be President. I want him to be happy."

The Kirin turned around and was about to make her impressive, all-powerful exit when she thought she heard Kelly calling. _Oh, no. Oh, he didn't, he didn't-_

"Wait! Kirin!"

_-he did. Dammit._

"WHAT do you WANT?!," she roared. Count D was so going to hear it later. He really was.

"I...I want Nancy to be happy," whispered the annoying mortal. "That's what I want. Yeah."

Kelly's head slumped.

"Thank you," the Kirin muttered. "He's out cold, so hopefully he'll shut up now."

She opened up a portal and disappeared through it. _Ah_, she sighed to herself. _Home safe. Hopefully I'll never have to deal with-_

The Kirin suddenly found herself back at the scene of the accident, glaring down at Kelly.

_And he doesn't even look appropriately frightened_, she huffed. _He has the audacity to ruin my day! He should be prostrate at my feet! Next time, I'll let the stupid mortal keep on believing I'll eat him._

"Ugh," groaned Kelly.

The Kirin growled. She was called back to this puny creature for "ugh"?! This Kirin, she decided, was giving in her two weeks' notice as soon as she returned to the shop.

"I changed my mind," the man groaned. "I...do want Roger to be...to be President."

"Fickle little bastard," the Kirin muttered, and turned her tail on him for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Stop! One second!"

_Not listening. I'm not listening. I'll just turn my back and walk away, like this. Ha! I feel the power! I feel the power! I-_

"I think I should be President, actually."

_-am going to kill someone now. Compassion can go to hell._

The Kirin was rather sorely tempted to just kill him then and there, and tell D that the poor mortal's head imploded from utter lack of brains, but how to explain the impressive and very godly hoof prints that were sure to be there? Oh well. He seemed done for now, anyway.

She could hear the man wrestling with what appeared to be a second, even stupider, part of his mind, and she really hoped that he wouldn't ask anything too stupid, like-

"Nancy...Nancy... I want Nancy to smile... No, wait... That's not it... Doesn't sound right. Roger... Yeah, Roger should be President... Good for the world... Roger... Nancy... President... Smiling president..."

The Kirin shook her head in pity. How on earth did this man become adviser to a Congressman? Although, when she looked back on it, Roger hadn't seemed too brainy either...

"I want Nancy to be President!"

"Should I just ignore that last outburst?," the Kirin asked. She couldn't believe that Kelly was that stupid. Despite the evidence to the contrary.

Kelly seemed to mull things over for a few more minutes. The Kirin looked down at her wrist, and then realized that unicorns didn't wear watches.

_Oh, no. His stupidity must be catching._

So instead, she settled for scuffing her hooves. Scuff, scuff, scuff... It was getting pretty monotonous.

"I don't have all day, you know," the Kirin boomed in her most impressive voice.

"But Nancy...! Roger...," Kelly replied incoherently.

The Kirin rolled her eyes. This was like waiting for Count D to get out of the bathroom every morning, except that was usually more interesting. Oh, the weird things she'd heard... But that's for another story.

After a few more minutes of debate, Kelly just shrugged his shoulders and looked defeated.

"Ah, screw it," he said. "I want to be Nancy."

* * *

Good? Bad? I don't know myself... O.o

Just for the record, I am an obsessed Leon x D fan, but I'm sitting on the fence about Kelly x Roger. I dunno, they just both seem like morons.

Please review on your way out! :)


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